Many times I feel as if I have nothing to say or that no one is listening and I wonder if it really matters. I don’t connect with people readily. I’m socially awkward and I’d break plans easily if it meant more time in bed. I’ve been told it’s a terrible trait, but who knows really.
I refuse to let person’s judgements move me anymore and I’ve lost ‘friends’ galore because of it. I try to leave the self-deprecating thoughts behind me, though sometimes I’m pushed face first into their pining.
I stopped writing these essays for a while even though I committed to the challenge because I felt unheard. I realized after speaking to an adult that most times that is the case. Oftentimes our voices rustle like fodder, ever present but overlooked. What it doesn’t mean however, is that we should ever be silent.
Silence breeds consent is a popular saying, but truly silence only steals it; so I will be loud and I will be present like a gnat, like a light, like its opposite the darkness— I will be both yin and yang, right and left— I will be me, and maybe that isn’t so hard.
Sixteen down, thirty-six to go…